I want to preface this post with the fact that this is hard for me to write about because it is rather personal and I know that a lot of my family members read this.
With that being said, this post has to do with running. If you have read my about me section of my blog, you are probably familiar with the fact that I started running seriously when I started my weight loss journey. I partnered weight loss with running. I felt that in order to lose weight, I had to run, and if I didn’t run then I wouldn’t lose weight. I know this is a rather silly thought process, but it made perfect sense to me at the time. If you read my about me section, you are probably also familiar with the fact that I am a creature of habit. Once I get into the habit of something, I stick to it.
Running to me has been something that I just do. Typically 6 days a week, I go out and run or work out in some form or fashion. While I do enjoy it, I also think that it is just such a part of a routine for me. I plan my life around when I can run. When my body hurts, I still run. I honestly can’t tell you why I do this to myself when my body hurts, but I just do it. At the same time, I am very cautious of injury and if I was seriously injured, I would stop running. *Knock on wood.* Again, I really do enjoy running so don’t get the wrong impression. Running to me has been a huge constant in my life and something that I can always count on.
Why do I bring this up, you may ask. Well, today I didn’t run. Why? Because I didn’t feel like it, and my body hurts. This is very unlike me because I just had a rest day on Saturday. Typically I try to have only one day a week of rest if I can help it. Today, there really was no reason not to run other than the fact that I just didn’t want to do it. I went into my old work today and was talking to my old co-worker who is also a runner. She said to me “why run if you are in pain? Sometimes your body just needs a rest.” While i’ve always heard this, I always thought that I was an exception to this rest rule. Today, I changed my mind. I didn’t want to run, and I listened. This is a HUGE step for me. I don’t want to say i’m addicted to running, but I kind of am. I really want to start to train for a half marathon, but I know if I do this I will need to learn how to listen to my body. This means when i’m hungry, I eat (‘m VERY good with this one, HAHA), and when I don’t feel like running because my body is in pain, I won’t.
Honestly I just need to realize that not running will not make me gain weight, it doesn’t deem me lazy or unhealthy and it in fact can actually be GOOD FOR ME. I am at a point now where I know I don’t need to lose weight and really gaining a couple pounds wouldn’t hurt me. I need to realize that a day, or 2, or 3 days off a week won’t kill me. My knees have been hurting me for a couple weeks now, and I think it is due to the fact that I transitioned from running outside to running on a treadmill. I am hoping that by taking a couple days off from running will help my body rest and recover properly and the way it needs to.
Like I mentioned before, running has always been such a comfort for me. I don’t know why I am having such a hard time with taking today off from running, but I am, and that isn’t normal. All through my life I was always overweight and thought that if I ran, I would lose weight. I think this also has to do with the fact that I had pressure from my dad since I was young to “get out there and run.” Maybe I am damaged for life! I hope not. I really just want to develop a healthy relationship with running. I want to run when I want to, and not to maintain my weight. I realize that running is a part of a healthy lifestyle, but I also don’t want it to CONSUME my life. I have been cutting back on distance, but I think maybe I should focus now on running less days a week. W hen I start school next semester, I am going to have the least free time i’ve ever had. It is going to be a challenge for me to figure out a running schedule, but at the same time I want to just not worry about it and let life happen.
What are your thoughts on this?
What is your relationship with running or working out?